Watching Shinji
by MAI742
Summary: Shinji, as observed by Misato. And others.
1. Something's wrong, here

The Evangelion franchise is Studio Gainax property. I've used it without permission, but trust they will not take legal action against me as I am not making money from doing so.

* * *

She had thought something about the kid had been, well, _off_, but it became cemented in her mind when he murmured "Yeah…" and shuffled off to the entry plug. He listlessly clambered up, over, and into the thing without a single aside glance or asking what to do. The way he did it… it was as if he'd done this before, enough times that he didn't even need to think about it anymore.

Which was crazy, of course. He hadn't even _seen _an Evangelion before thirty seconds ago.

He'd completely ignored his father too; so much for having a father-complex. He just stared up at the man and didn't say anything until Ritsu had spoken to him again. But the way he moved just then, getting into the Eva… that took the cake.

_Something's wrong, here…_

Then there was the LCL. A strange liquid had flooded the cockpit, yet he hadn't said a thing. She told him to breathe it in normally but he gave no sign of having heard her, slumped as he was in the pilot's seat and staring at his hands.

Inexplicably self-conscious, she kept her voice down as she ordered the launch - her first combat operation with Nerv. Some part of her wanted to bark the order, to make herself heard to mark the occasion and assert her authority.

However, right now her thoughts were with her world-weary pilot.

She'd remembered wondering, when jumping out to grab him, what kind of idiot would rather just sit there and die than come with her. Her indignation had turned to puzzlement as he allowed himself to be manhandled into the car and just sat there in silence as she got them the hell out of there.

He hadn't said anything since. Just sat, or slouched, or shuffled. Her attempts at conversation met with indifference, and she gave up pretty quickly. It was like he just didn't give a shit, about anything. It had stunned her, frankly, when he had spoken and then taken the initiative.

He was nearly at the surface now. The Angel was still busy trying to blast its way into headquarters…wait, no. It was moving. Towards the Eva.

…panic would solve nothing, not that she was the panicking type. He needed to feel reassured right now.

... not that he looked even the slightest bit worried. She frowned. Something was _definitely _wrong, here.

As the Eva reached the surface he spoke, catching her off guard.

"Do I get a gun?"

The Angel had spotted him; it was facing his way.

There was a pallet rifle in the next building over. But he needed to move first. She looked to Ritsuko for affirmation, and the bottle-blonde nodded.

"Just concentrate on walking for now. Just put one foot in front of the other."

She spoke to Hyuga separately. "Open the rifle case."

He nodded and refocused on his screen, fingers tapping away at the keys.

Up on the surface, the rifle was revealed. Shinji stepped forward and took it, dropping into a crouch and lining up the shot. Before she had time to process the fact that he'd just done all of that totally unprompted, he'd fired off a burst and was steeling himself for another.

She looked to Ritsuko, flabbergasted, but her old acquaintance had nothing to say. She reached for the mike again, careful to keep her voice down again. "Shinji…"

Now he was running up to the Angel, firing bursts as he went, and in no time he was right on top of it, hitting it backward and into a building with a blow from the stock of the rifle and following up with a vicious kick which slammed it down to the ground. Pinning it underfoot, he leveled the rifle at the red orb in its chest and fired… but the gun jammed after the first shot and Misato winced.

"Use-!"

But he had already dropped to his knees and started using the butt of the rifle to smash the orb, again and again and- and the image went white, and stayed that way. _What?_

She whirled around to Ritsuko. "_What happened?_"

She looked up from Maya's workstation, biting her lip.

"I don't know. It would appear that he killed it."

It was a tense few seconds before they re-established visual contact.

At the centre of the destruction lay the Eva, virtually untouched.

* * *

"You have been assigned quarters in our 'D' Block. Do you have any questions?"

Shinji gave her a knowing glance before replying.

"No."

"Okay. Good day."

The man departed, leaving them alone.

Again, that look as if he knew just what she wanted to say and was willing her to just spit it out already.

"Are you really okay with living on your own?"

"No, Misato."

She hadn't told him to call her Misato. There was something odd in the way he'd said that. It certainly hadn't been in the flat, inexpressive tone of before.

He stepped within arm's reach without meeting her eyes. Then, without warning, darted forward and hugged her tight.

"I want to live with you."

It was the first thing he'd said that she knew meant _something_ to him. Even if she had no idea what that something was.

He was warm. _Very_ warm. His embrace felt strangely comforting, even if it seemed totally unbecoming of him. How long had it been since someone held her like this?

...well. The last person to do so had been taller. She knew that much.

"…sure."

How could she refuse him?

They ate dinner in silence. She'd hoped he would thaw out a little more now that they'd established that they would be living together, but he seemed just as distant as before.

He sipped his beer – which he'd accepted without any fuss – and returned to quietly slurping down her special instant-dinner-mix.

PenPen chose that moment to waddle into the room, chittering as he gave Shinji a quick once-over before returning to his fridge.

Shinji met his gaze as he made his scan, before turning back to his food without a second glance. She frowned and reached for her beer again. Then stopped for a moment, hand outstretched, and decided to restart the abortive conversation she had tried to strike up when he first sat down to eat. She downed the rest of the beer in a single motion and had just opened her mouth to speak when he interrupted her again.

"Miss Akagi can't explain how I was able to kill the Angel. She said it shouldn't have been possible."

He kept his eyes firmly on his food, twirling the instant noodles around his chopsticks.

"You asked her what she had expected if she was surprised I did so well. She said that what she expected wasn't the same thing as what she wanted, and that she was glad with how things turned out even if it doesn't make sense. You said that I must just be a natural, but she doesn't think ability has anything to do with it."

He stopped playing with his chopsticks and actually picked up some curry-coated ramen to eat. He paused with the food at his lips.

"But you're not sure you believe that yourself."

He talked through his food.

"Ritsu is rarely wrong, you know that, so…"

The whole time, he hadn't really deviated from the flat tones of before the outburst over his accommodation. At least he was speaking more, even if it was weird stuff like this.

_He must be one _smart _little __cookie to guess all that from what little he's seen of us. _

The room had been silent for a while now. Was he waiting for a response?

Well, it didn't matter. She would be getting this conversation back into more normal territory now.

"I think you're a pretty smart kid, and a really brave one too. Anyone can see that you're a natural pilot; I'm really glad we have you here."

She reached across the table to squeeze his hand, but it was a bit far. She ended up standing up and leaning over the table to do it.

He looked up and into her eyes. The glazed look had been overtaken by tiredness, fatigue even. But she also saw a spark of gratitude in there somewhere. A ghost of a smile played on his lips and she nearly forgot what she was going to say. She remembered and formed a proper sentence out of the sentiment just before the moment dragged on too long. She patted his hand and sat down, reaching for another beer.

"Don't worry about cleaning up or anything. Just take a bath and go to bed when you're done."

'You look exhausted,' went unsaid.

"Okay."

She nodded and cracked open her beer. Wait…

She looked back to Shinji, but he had already resumed eating much as he had been before, listlessly.

She dismissed her frown and allowed herself a smile at her own expense. She hadn't _misheard _the gratitude in his voice, but somehow 'thanks' didn't sit with her idea of his personality.

"Thank you, Misato."

He was looking her way again. She felt a twang of guilt as if he had just caught her thinking ill of him - which was stupid and she knew it. She blushed a little anyway.

"That's okay, Shinji."

Those few words on their own seemed a bit lacking, as if she was insincere.

"You did a noble thing today, Shinji. A very great and good thing."

She stopped herself before she became too insincere-sounding again.

"You should be proud."

After a few seconds of silence she took a measured swig, and he resumed eating.

Apparently her words had had no effect. If anything, he looked a little uncomfortable now.

Staring down at her dinner, she got the feeling that she had said it more for her own sake than for his. Like she was reassuring herself that it was okay for her to be a part of the madness that was using a 15-year-old boy to single-handedly defend a city.

He continued eating in silence.

Later on, in the bath, it occurred to her that she had never told him to call her 'Misato'.

Nor had she ever called Ritsuko 'Ritsu' in his presence.

Then again, 'Ritsu' was a pretty logical nickname, and he had never called her by her surname to begin with.

She settled down into the bath, with only her face remaining above the water.

His eagerness to be with her just didn't sit with his earlier and subsequent indifference to everything. And nothing could explain the way he got into the Eva, let alone what he did with it. He'd obviously had some sort of combat training, even though his profile claimed he'd had none whatsoever.

"I just don't _get _that kid…"

* * *

Her first, half-asleep thoughts were that she was very comfortable and it was nice and warm. She murmured something and shifted her legs.

It was a while later – how much later, she had no idea – that she found herself thinking about the arm over her waist, the head atop her shoulder and the breathing against her neck. It was slow and measured, peaceful.

She turned over to hug them properly, and draw them nearer to her. She drew them nice and close, and moved a leg up to increase that feeling of closeness.

Closeness, and comfort. Mmm.

A while after that, she felt too warm.

She pulled down the covers with one foot, so she didn't have to stop holding him.

Some time after that, the light coming in through the blinds was making everything too bright.

She hesitantly opened one eye, then another, closing them again to yawn into his hair. She hugged his head and shoulders…_whose _head and shoulders? Makoto wasn't this small…

Couldn't be…

She blinked again. _Shinji?_

More blinking. She drew back, slowly, to take a proper look.

Shinji.

…

…_what?_

It took a few seconds for the gears to get grinding again – she'd never been a morning person – and to confirm to herself that yes, this was Shinji. She was still holding him, actually.

… this was _highly _inappropriate.

Not just inappropriate. Try _illegal_. Possibly. They were in the same Chain of Command. Ergo, this ought to be illegal. Nerv was an oddly informal and civilian military outfit, but prohibiting this kind of thing was pretty basic and very much a standard thing.

Not that 'this kind of thing' had been anything inappropriate by the looks of it. He was still fully clothed and so was she, albeit showing a lot more skin than he was.

Gently, she let go and tried to move away.

He murmured something subtly anguished sounding, hugging her tighter and nuzzling her chest.

… this had to stop.

"Shinji."

She reached out to pry him off of her.

"Shinji."

He only clung tighter. She stopped short of putting real effort into it.

"_Shinji._"

He started awake.

"Why the hell are you in my bed?"

Ack, morning voice.

The dazed, confused look lasted a few seconds longer. To her great surprise, it was replaced by a mortified expression and he lunged forward to hug her again, the side of his head pressed tightly against her chest.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, _I'm sorry! _I didn't mean to! I just, it was so _lonely _and," he sniffed – was he _crying_? "I couldn't sleep. I get these nightmares. They… I'm _sorry_…"

He squeezed her tight.

She was completely disarmed, and at something of a loss. Her words of reproach had long since died on her lips.

As he sniffed and hiccupped into her t-shirt, she realised that she wasn't doing a very good job of being comforting right now. She willed her arm down from where it had been held up in shock, folding it across his back to meet the other as it snaked around from underneath his head.

She got the belated feeling that she really should have said something sooner, but it was probably too late by now. Then again, better late than never?

"It's okay. I'm sorry for snapping at you... it's just a shock, that's all."

'I was expecting someone else' and 'You really are still a kid, after all' went unsaid.

"It's okay… It's okay. I'm not mad. Just, surprised. So, don't be sad okay? Don't get all upset on me over nothing."

She tried running her fingers through his hair. That worked for her, right?

She stopped mid-motion as she thought back to yesterday and winced. "Okay, maybe it wasn't 'nothing'. Maybe it's a _lot _of something. But it's okay, now. You're here. You're fine. We're all good now. Because _you saved the day_. Isn't that something, hey?" She rubbed his back. "Cheer up, _hero_." She gave him a little poke for emphasis.

He seemed to be much calmer now. Good. Maybe she wasn't so bad at this after all.

"I'm sorry; I know it's bad, but I should have knocked. I mean, I know…I should have asked I'm sorry…"

"It's alright. Just _ask_ in future. Okay?"

'And try not to disturb me unless it's really bad' went unsaid. It probably didn't need to be, though it was hard to tell with him. It could ruin everything if she just out and said it now, though, so she kept her mouth shut.

"Yeah." Birds chirped and tweeted in the silence. "Of course."

She smiled and then remembered he couldn't see it. She applied a gentle pressure to his shoulder to prompt him and he let go, sheepishly, after a couple of seconds.

"Sorry…"

"It's okay." He said sorry _a lot_. He meant it, too. In that moment she got a nasty feeling that, no matter how much he might screw up, she would find it difficult not to feel sorry for him and forgive him every single time.

It was just a feeling though.

"Come on." She stretched all her limbs and yawned, catlike, before springing to her feet in a smooth motion and giving him a wink as she said "That's enough skin-ship for today, I think."

* * *

How's that for a prologue?

I'm tempted to outline the possible explanations for Shinji's behaviour, but I'd like to believe you can break it down just as well if not better yourself.

[[Viewers are Geniuses]] beats [[Viewers are Morons]] and [[Viewers are Goldfish]]

I thank Sinister Banana (SB) and JX for their proof-reading and feedback.


	2. I just don't know

Misato admitted defeat.

"But what does it all _mean_, Ritsu?"

Ritsu sighed.

"How much simpler can I make it?" She massaged her temples with one hand. "It's still impossible. His synch ratio _shouldn't _be this high. It _can't _be."

"Well what _is _it, anyway?"

Ritsuko gave her one of her 'you _really _don't know?' looks.

"I don't! Nobody told me."

"What?"

"...nothing. So how high is it, anyway? I'm guessing it's good, impossible or not."

"Sixty of a theoretical one hundred per-cent."

Misato frowned. "Rei's isn't that high, is it?"

"Yes, it's much lower." Ritsuko gave her a pointed glance. "And she's been with us for years."

Ritsuko turned back to her work.

The moment dragged on a little too long with Misato adding an unnecessary, "What are you implying?"

Ritsuko seemed to give the question serious weight before answering. "I don't know. He's the only pilot to have synchronised with an Eva for the first time at his age. It could just be something about his mental development."

"...could?"

Ritsuko appeared loathe to admit it but... "I just don't know."

She produced a cigarette and lighter from somewhere, and put them to good use as she started on her first cigarette of the hour.

Misato checked the clock. Not even two minutes past said hour. Three, max.

Her gaze wandered back to the screens, back to the video feed of the 'Third Child' suited up and concentrating on strengthening his connection to Unit One.

"Did intelligence get back to you yet?"

Ritsuko was busy typing something out, multitasking again now that their little heart-to-heart was over.

"Nope. Still going through the details. They're still pretty sure they got it right the first time."

"Hmm," Ritsuko stopped for a moment to tap the ash off her cigarette. She stubbed it out and continued. "We're almost done here. You can collect him in 20."

"Right." She turned to leave since she was done here. "Seeya!"

"Wait." She hadn't even taken two steps; Ritsuko walked into whispering range as she turned around.

"..."

"What?"

Ritsuko gave the ceiling an 'I can't believe I'm really going to say this' look.

"...technically, I don't think you were in breach of regulations."

"Huh?"

"It's something of an oversight, but Nerv doesn't actually have regulations concerning the conduct of its employees outside the workplace," she said as if to explain everything. "Just one of the UN's _many _oversights."

She pre-empted Misato with a quick addendum. "The law still applies, Misato." And another. "_The _law."

Sensing her friend's irritation, Misato assumed her best almost-straight face and adopted her most proper tone.

"I thank you, Dr. Akagi. Having learned that, I am much reassured."

Ritsuko glared into her polite smile for a few seconds longer before sighing again. "You're welcome_. Goodbye_."

"Tata!"

She dismissed herself and waited until the door had shut behind her before allowing herself a quiet chuckle.

* * *

"My name is Shinji Ikari."

The teacher gave him a prompting look that said 'and...?'

Shinji gave him a dead look that also said 'and...?'

Ten seconds later, Mister Miyagi folded and allowed the boy to take his seat.

Kensuke continued to slouch, frowning in deep thought. A minute later, his face lit up and he started to type with gusto.

* * *

For the fifth time, Shinji dismissed the message and continued to read at his desk.

"Shinji," Mister Miyagi called. "In what month was the Treaty of Shimonoseki concluded?"

He didn't look up. "April 17th."

"What? I couldn't hear you."

After a pause, someone called out, "He said April!"

Mister Miyagi adjusted his glasses with one hand.

"...yes, that's correct. Very good."

Hitting the 'enter' key he could see the message icon flash on Shinji's screen a few seconds later. And a few seconds after _that _he put down his book and opened the message in a smooth, lazy motion. It was the same as the others.

**Are you the pilot?**

Shinji quickly dismissed it again. He returned to reading, but stopped after a moment to stare into the distance.

Kensuke sent another message. He couldn't ignore them _forever_. And besides, lunch break was in just forty-three-and-a-half minutes.

Instead of opening it, Shinji brought up some text-only programs and started typing rapidly. Frowning, Kensuke sent _another _message, only for it to be ignored as well. Giving up - no, _biding his time _- he resumed reading his military magazines.

At forty-one minutes to lunchtime, he looked up from his magazines to notice that his screen was blank. Try as he might, his computer refused to start again.

He gave the new guy a suspicious look.

It's not like he was using it anyway. But this new guy... that was a useful skill he had there.

* * *

"So, _did _you?"

A twinge of annoyance crossed Shinji's bored features.

Touji grabbed him by the collar, drawing back a fist to strike. Kensuke felt he should say something again, maybe, but Touji just wasn't listening at this stage.

As he watched, Shinji's drink tumbled from his hand. The new kid sighed as he watched it bounce, then roll across the pavement and spill its precious contents in the hot sun.

Staring after it, he spoke to them for the first time.

"Sorry, Touji. It's nothing personal..."

* * *

"I just don't get it, Shinji."

She spared him an aside glance. He continued staring into the distance, pressing the ice pack against the bruise on his cheek.

"Why didn't you hit him? He says he acted in self-defence."

He produced his travel-pillow from somewhere, holding it up to the window and resting his head against it.

"I couldn't do it."

The road ahead was fairly straight, and devoid of traffic. She allowed herself a sideways, enquiring look.

He gave her a wry smile, closing his eyes and facing forward again. "I never can."

His voice had an unidentifiable timbre. It sounded familiar, somehow.

"Only when they're Angels. It took me a long time to accept that."

The smile became more wistful. Taking it in, she nearly forgot to mind her driving.

"Sometimes you have to hurt people to help them. But this wasn't like those times."

He gave her that _knowing _look again - the one that had her so spooked these past few days - as he continued.

"I know you understand."

She projected confidence and understanding, grinning off the raw... failing a better word, _creepiness _he'd been exuding just then. "I guess I do."

* * *

Touji threw him one last, weirded-out look before stalking away.

Torn, Kensuke decided to approach him (the new kid) anyway. Touji wasn't a fast walker, so he had a minute.

"Hey there. Uh, sorry about that. His little sister got caught up in that mess the other day, and...what?"

Still lying where he had fallen, the new kid had murmured something. He spoke the nonsense softly, but meaningfully.

"Never _could _figure that one out."

Kensuke blinked.

"It's like she _wanted_ to get hurt. Seriously..."

...the hell? He could see why Touji had decked him.

"Um... right. Well, uh, see you!"

He beat a hasty retreat, speed-walking to catch up with Touji who, sitting by his favourite garden bed, wasn't going anywhere. So why was he rushing?

He slowed down for the last few metres. His friend looked kinda shaken up.

"You alright?"

"Shaddup."

"You shut up."

He sat down next to him.

"No, but really. You okay?"

"Fine. Why you askin' me?"

"Why not? The new kid's fine, by the way."

A pause.

"You didn't have to do that for me, you know."

Another pause.

"I'd have preferred it if you didn't, actually-"

"-It was self-defence!" Toji blurted, crossing his arms again.

Kensuke made a point of finishing as if he hadn't been so rudely interrupted "-even if he's kind of a dick."

More thoughtful silence.

"You saw it. How was I supposed to know mister super-hacker was gonna chicken out?"

"Yeah, I know."

Touji sniffed.

"But we still don't know if he's the pilot or not."

Toji pretended not to have heard the whiny-ness in his voice.

"Ya gonna ask him?"

...it was kind of a stupid idea, anyway.

"No."

Touji snorted, shifting his arms and looking away.

"Told ya it was stupid."

* * *

"Alright. Scissors, paper, rock!"

Shinji stared disinterestedly at her fist before turning to the calendar, signing and underlining his name at the top of it. Apparently satisfied, insofar as he _ever _appeared satisfied – i.e. never – he walked off with the marker.

"Hey! Where are you going?"

"I'll do it."

"Huh?"

He called back to her. "All of it."

"_What?_"

He continued into the kitchen as she started after him.

"I'm not having you do _everything_, this is—"

"—_your flat_, but it's unfair for you to do the housework too." He didn't look around from his position at the sink where he had started washing the dishes. There wasn't much to do; most of it was just pots and packets which he set to one side for disposal.

"Don't worry about it. Just relax. Work's only going to get harder on you as more arrive."

"More?"

"Angels. And pilots."

She frowned, hands on hips. He spoke before she could declare her intent to do the laundry while he washed up.

"You're not getting the most out of your clothes-washing machine. Leave it to me. Really. It's okay, just relax."

'Just relax?' What was he? Her…

"Butlers are supposed to direct the other servants of the household. I'm more of a maid-of-all-trades."

She blinked. He chuckled as if savouring her reaction, still not turning around.

"Really, just relax. I know how hard you work. You could use the R&R. And no, I don't expect you to be happy with it. But I do expect you to do it."

Forceful niceness.

_Firm consideration_.

He reminded her of her father, in a way.

Scrubbing the grease out of a bowl, Shinji spoke.

"How are the other pilots?"

Pausing for thought – who'd told him about them? – she only took a few seconds to reply.

Then paused, reconsidering.

There were times for honesty, and then...

"The First and Second children. How are they?"

She breathed - a sigh of relief? Gods knew she could do without giving more classified information away – before leaning back against the kitchen bench, arms folded, and gave _the third child_ an audible answer.

"They're fine."

She would've gone on to query his question, but apparently her best was not enough. He turned to examine her. "They're not, are they?"

She was very tempted to say, "Yes, _they are_! And why are you asking, anyway?"

Instead, she said "...what?" like an idiot.

"You lied."

"Um..." What? Well, this was awkward. She silenced her inner child as it called her to cry a simple "No, I didn't!"

Sporting a dull, somewhat troubled look, he turned back to the dishes. "Is someone dead?"

Damn. How could she—

"You don't have to put it nicely. Just tell me."

Sighing, she deflated. "The First Child is fine, she's recovering well but still in hospital."

A deep, calming breath...and out again. Then...

"The Second Child is..." Misato began.

"Dead?"

It was funny, how casually he said it. Like it had long since lost any real meaning to him.

Or maybe she was just reading too much into things. Probably, even.

"Yeah. It happened last night."

His scrubbing seemed to slow a little.

"An old friend of mine found her...he's pretty torn up about the whole thing. Thinks it's his fault."

She sighed. This had become a very sigh-heavy conversation. But he _had _asked.

"She had a history of mental issues, so it's not like it came out of nowhere. But he tells me it was pretty sudden."

Finishing the last of the plates, he moved on to the cutlery. There wasn't much of it, not after he'd thrown her old and only slightly mouldy – but still perfectly useable! – sets of wooden chopsticks away.

"Please give him my condolences. I'm sure it wasn't his fault."

"Yeah, well...I will. He's taking it pretty hard."

Head in hand, for the first time she wondered why she was telling him this.

He tensed up for a moment as if to say something.

The moment passed without a word.

"Shinji?"

More washing.

His hesitation was on the verge of rudeness when he replied.

"I was kind of looking forward to meeting her, I guess."

A crush? Probably not, especially since their never having met precluded an actual crush. He seemed to anticipate, correctly, that he would be asked to go on.

"A beer?"

_Subject avoided_. And now _he_ was the one offering _her_ alcohol. Even if it was hers, after all. It was a tempting offer, but she didn't want to be seen as a slacker when there was work to be done.

"No thanks."

"Sure? I could use one."

Well. That changed things. Or did it? Celebration or not, she really shouldn't have given him some last night.

This _was _a special case, though.

Or was it? He didn't even know her. She'd only met the girl once, and briefly at that. It had been hearing Kaji – always the smooth operator, not that she'd heard from him in years – so..._distraught _that had really driven it home.

Pulling two cans from the fridge, she opened them and set one down at his elbow.

Corruption of a minor indeed.

Then again, if the UN itself made a soldier of him, who were they to say he couldn't drink?

"Thanks." He stopped to take a swig, then another.

Unprompted, he seemed to continue from where he had left off.

"I guess, when you do these kinds of things together...I mean, I…I..."

He started giggling as if distract himself from the fact that he was beginning to cry.

_Not again. _She moved to...she didn't quite know what, but he had thrust out a palm to keep her back.

"_I'm fine._"

He sniffed, wiping his eyes with his wrists before tilting his head back to down the rest of the can. Setting it aside, he applied more cleaning fluid to the sponge and set about the cutlery again.

"Anyway..." he started "Sorry about that. I'll be fine."

He picked up the pace again. She didn't notice when it'd dropped off.

"You'd think it'd get easier. So many times now." He giggled again. "I've seen worse."

Apart from making little sense, as per usual, he sure didn't _sound_ fine. Fighting back the (mothering) instinct to hold him over his objections, she limited herself to settling a hand on his shoulder. Noting his non-resistance, she moved up behind him. She would make this _reassurance _thing work, dammit.

It seemed to have some effect as he settled down a little.

"Much worse. You should've seen me when my sister died."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Never mind me, you should've seen _her_...but _don't be_. It wasn't your fault."

'Obviously,' went unsaid. Of course.

_He had a sister?_

Her beer was practically full. Ten seconds later, she flattened the can and paused. Taking Shinji's, she let go of him to put them both in the designated tin-can rubbish bag.

An hour later, he was done.

"Somehow, I thought you'd be more obsessive about it."

"About what?"

"The cleaning."

Without looking up from his book, he quoted: "A clean home is a sign of pride in one's household. A spotless house is a sign of a wasted life."

She chuckled. "True, that."

Not that she didn't like her flat, of course. He liked it too, apparently. Which was good.

Sipping another beer, she tried to pick up where he'd left off earlier.

"What did you mean about doing things together?"

"What?"

"You said it earlier, when I told you about... her."

That got his attention; his eyes stopped moving about the page.

He gave it visible thought before replying.

"We're pilots. Only another pilot could really understand." He gave her a small smile. "Though some people come close."

She returned it, half-surprised at how easily the motion came to her.

Eyeing her beer, she raised it in a salute to the heavens.

"Here's to Miss Shikinami."

She noted his blank look before actually drinking to the poor girl's memory. "The second child." she explained.

His face remained blank.

* * *

I remain right chuffed at your response to the prologue! It's very encouraging to see so many bright (predominantly young) lads and lassies are out there and commenting.

My beloved beta-reader, whom I now thank again for her time, tells me she can't for the life of her picture Anime!Shinji giggling (I confess I'm rather fond of Manga!Shinji's snarky moments). I think she'd be right, under normal circumstances.

Do try not to get those expectations too high! I'm new to this business, and flowery writing does not - by itself - a good story make.

Even if it is _fabulously_ flowery.


	3. Maybe he wanted to

"What?" he said.

He looked...shocked? It wasn't what she'd call surprise, but shock wasn't a good word either. Ritsuko once said there was a word for it – 'the look a child gets when they're told fairy tales aren't real'. It still sounded contrived to her ear, but even so it seemed a good fit.

"...what?" she replied lamely. Her mental gears weren't quite into... well, _gear_ yet.

"Her name. _What's her name._"

In his insistence, he forgot to make it a question. He was as stock-still as ever, but not with his usual lethargy. He was tense. Poised.

"Asuka Shikinami."

Disbelief. It was disbelief that coloured his shock. _Strong _disbelief. It wasn't just _denial_; it was like he genuinely believed that she was wrong. And by extension, that she was lying.

"... no," he murmured.

'No' what?

"What?"

Mentally, she face-palmed and tried to figure out what it was she'd really meant to ask.

He didn't seem accusatory. Rather, distracted. Thinking. _Excited_. Even though he'd been animated when upset, she hadn't seen him genuinely excited before. Then again, it had been only two days.

It sounded terrible of her to say it, even just in her head, but it really did seem unbecoming of him.

"Sorry, Misato, can I use your laptop for a minute?"

"Uh..."

Her brain managed another 'what?' But that was about it.

"Thanks!"

She reached out after him as he dashed out of sight, but the words wouldn't come. She didn't know what to say.

She got another beer to help her think.

Can to lips, she swallowed as she worked it out.

He had been upset about the girl without knowing who she was, so it was obviously nothing personal. It seemed he was a softie at heart.

But this last little episode didn't...mesh properly. Or did it? He'd disbelieved the name. So that meant he recognised it.

But if he knew her, or knew the family, that was hardly a cause for excitement. Or at least she'd like to think it wasn't.

Hopefully it wasn't her... _passing _in itself... no, of course it wasn't. What was she thinking?

Maybe they were family friends. The mother had _something_ to do with Nerv, she recalled. Or maybe he'd just heard of them.

No. Where? The media was on a tight leash. He'd never been out of the country before and she'd never been _in_, to her knowledge. With Kaji as the girl's guardian, she undoubtedly would have heard from him if they had been anywhere nearby. Maybe. For any meaningful length of time, anyway.

So... he had to know her first-hand, somehow. It couldn't just be acquaintance.

At any rate, what he wanted her laptop for was obvious. He was looking her up. But why? Maybe she had siblings or something...

Maybe _they_ were who he knew? Whom he might be after?

She paused, beer can at her lips again, and frowned. Didn't she have a password? He hadn't said anything.

She went over to her room and knocked on the half-open door.

"Sorry, I'll just be a minute."

She hesitated. It was _her_ computer. In _her _room. She was well within her rights to just barge in.

"Right, I'm done!" He bounced into view. "Thanks, Misato." He gave her a hug.

A tight one.

That lasted.

"Um..."

She was just about to hug him back when he let go, darted under one of her arms, dashed through the living room and presumably right out the front door.

"Hey! Where're you going!"

She marched after him, but stopped after a couple of steps and went back to check her computer.

It was Kaji.

Kaji's photo. Name. Qualifications, age, height, address...the works. There was also the beginning of a psych profile. Scrolling down the document, there was a biography and other stuff too. At the bottom was a familiar insignia. It was a Nerv personnel file.

There was another document open too.

It was on Asuka.

There were other windows open, but they were these things of black background and white text that she didn't recognise.

She stepped out, laptop in hand.

"Shinji?"

He hadn't come past her, and the living room/kitchen was empty. She headed for the front door, not quite believing he'd really rushed out like that. Where would he go? Especially at an hour like this and with no money, presumably (did he even have a wallet?)

No shoes either, Misato noticed as she inspected the shoe-row by the open front door. He wasn't on the balcony.

Nor was he out the front or in the parking lot.

That said, there was a man in a suit poring over something in the carpark. And another suited man was running towards him.

Make that two suited men running.

...three.

Four.

What...?

It wasn't _very _far from her hand to the floor. She barely noticed the laptop as its casing chipped and its screen cracked in the process of making abrupt contact with the concrete of her balcony.

The sound drew the notice of the agents, one of whom continued to look up to her and pulled out a phone.

Hand to her mouth, she just stood there like an idiot while her mobile rang.

It took her a few seconds, but she managed to answer it.

"He's breathing, but unconscious. An ambulance is coming, but it'll be a few minutes."

Somehow, she was expecting him to say more.

It took a few moments for her to realise that he was waiting for her to say something.

"I'll be down in two."

"Yes'm."

She felt numb.

The question took her mind off the feeling, at least, when it registered a few seconds later. The room beyond the observation window was empty, save for him and the row of machines that flanked his bed. Outside it was dark, the floor-length windows making the little white-walled room appear twice its size.

"Jumped? _Why?_"

Ritsuko shifted, perhaps uncomfortably.

"Why do you keep asking me these things? You're the one who's had the most contact with him in the last forty-eight hours. If anything, we should be looking to _you_."

If Ritusko sensed she was verging on insensitivity, she didn't show it.

"I just don't get it. Something's _wrong_ here, and I just don't know what it is!"

"Like what?"

"Like... you're saying he _jumped off my balcony_, Ritsuko. Gods! It's _eight floors _down! Why do you-! What, why would he do that?"

She took another drag, and then tapped some ash from her cigarette.

"Well, maybe he wanted to die."

"What?" she tried to round on Ritsuko but was too shocked to be properly angry.

"I'm just going by the facts here. Why else would someone jump off a balcony? There are no Angels about. He must've done it of his own free will."

"But _why_? I don't...he didn't _care_ enough to ever..."

The moment she said it, she knew it wasn't true. Even if the why of that eluded her as well.

"I've seen your reports. Yours, and Section Two's. His profile is incomplete, to say the least. He's only been closely monitored for less than three days; he could've been hiding all kinds of problems. Including, I suspect, depression."

"What? But...he didn't _seem _depressed."

"What he _seemed_ is neither here nor there. It would fit, don't you think? Manic depression in particular. We'll need to chase up his guardian. Even I can't make sense of this evening without assuming compounding factors. _Other _conditions," she explained, seeing Misato's blank look. "The psych department's working on it as we speak. They'll figure it out."

"I'm not a _real_ psychologist. That was all just my opinion," went unsaid. Not that she ever would've said it. Misato was just reading between the lines.

Even so, was there _anything _that Ritsuko didn't feel smart enough to comment on?

In the room beyond, all was still.

"Rei," she started.

"Captain Katsuragi," she interjected. "I understand."

She gave the nigh-inhuman teenager a long look. In turn, the girl looked right through her. She looked bored.

She didn't want to approve of this kind of borderline-contempt, but under the circumstances she had little choice. She _could_ get the girl to reel off every detail of the plan, but...well. She probably _could_ reel off every detail. Ritsuko had said - warned? - as much, and what she'd seen from the girl so far seemed to confirm it. She glanced to Makoto for a moment - he was getting a little irritated, too.

Well, she knew what she was doing. There was no point in making this any longer than it had to be.

"Good."

More needed to be said. Rei gave her a mostly-impassive look that said as much.

"Move out."

Soundlessly, the girl dismissed herself and made for the cages. Unit One was waiting for her.

Her gait was fairly steady. Ritsuko had said getting the right balance of antibiotics, painkillers, stimulants, and relaxants had been quite a feat. The girl certainly didn't _look_ like she ought to be in hospital for another month.

If it weren't for all the bandages, the sling and the plaster-casts, you wouldn't even know she was injured.

Of course, that was like saying you wouldn't notice someone was blind until you saw the sunglasses and the guide dog.

So, this was who Shinji had left them with - to fight injured and alone.

Checking her watch and seeing that she had time enough for some R&R, she made her way to her office.

She waited until she had shut the door, locked it, taken a not-too-generous (she couldn't be _drunk_ at work) drink from her jacket-flask, and sat down before she...

Before she _nothing_. She wiped at her eyes - it had been a very stressful week, that's all it was, she was _fine_ really. She'd be fine. Rei knew what she was doing too, everyone knew what they were doing. It'd be fine. Just a few more hours and she would have killed her second Angel.

She stared very hard at her desk for a long time.

In the room beyond the window, all was quiet. The windows let in the morning light, by which the First Child read her book as she sat up in bed. Opposite her lay the Third Child at the center of a web of wires and tubes.

Ritsuko leaned a little closer with what she must have thought was a casual, almost nonchalant air.

"I understand that Rei asked to be transferred to his ward, or vice-versa. She wanted to be near him. Do you have any idea why?"

Misato balked. "I have _no idea_" was probably quite visibly on the tip of her tongue.

"Why are you asking me?"

"Well, you've spent time with her. It's been three weeks since you met, by my count."

...and?

"Aaaand...?"

"That makes you the person who knows her third-best. Why do _you_ think did she would ask such a thing?"

The Commander was probably one of those two she'd seen them talking in a guarded, formal manner. Ritsuko... she didn't know about her and Ritsuko. They certainly weren't chummy with each other either. She took a cutesy stab in the dark. Or rather, a stab in the dark at a cutesy notion.

"Well, maybe she likes him?"

Ritsuko met her eyes.

"They've never met."

The weight Ritsuko gave the sentence seemed a bit... why was that important? She thought about Rei for a moment. Really thought about her.

_Impassive._ Quiet. Only spoke when spoken to, kept it brief. No intonation, no scratching or fidgeting, no...

Rei turned a page. Efficiently, as was her wont.

Musing on it, the only remarkable thing about Rei - besides the hair and the oh-so-freaky eyes - was the absence of any behaviour which might actually be called behaviour. Failing to grasp an answer that was sufficiently intelligent for the like of Ritsuko, she settled for thinking aloud.

"She's not very _anything_ is she."

Ritsuko seemed satisfied with that, nodding and turned back to observing the pilots.

"The perfect _tabula rasa, o_r so she seems. I've never heard Rei ask for anything before."

She found herself studying Ritsuko's expression carefully. She was quite serious.

"She must've asked for _something,_ sometime."

"Well, yes. Of course. But she's never actually asked _for_ something before. She has asked questions, on the rare occasion. But she has never, not that I know of, made a request. I asked the Commander yesterday and he said as much."

O...kay.

"So this is kind of a big deal for her."

Ritsuko gave her a look. It was some time before she finally seemed to notice that it had become awkward and turned back to studying Rei.

"Little Miss Estella finally asks for something, and it's to be with a boy she's never met and knows virtually nothing about."

Her eyes felt drawn to the other occupant of the room beyond.

"Does he know her?"

"Who?"

Not Rei, obviously. The girl's Nerv personnel file was totally blank and apparently, nobody had ever heard of her.

"Asuka. I did chase it up, but I couldn't find anything."

"So did I. Nothing. There is apparently no link between the unusual and disturbingly morbid behaviour of the only surviving people to have succesfully synchronised with an Eva."

Well, that was a loaded statement if ever there was one.

"What are you implying?"

"I don't know."

Ritsuko lit up a cigarette, inhaling deeply and blowing a lungful of smoke at the glass before continuing. Misato checked her watch as she did so - it'd been... ten minutes since the last one?

"We can't verify mental illness until he wakes up, but by your and his former guardian's accounts he was fine. Asuka had issues, yes, but she was coping."

Ritsuko was at a loss. Ritsuko was never at a loss.

"At least Rei is fine, for now, even if she's acting a bit weird..."

The sunshine streaming into the room was almost mockingly bright and, well, _sunny_.

"Well, maybe she just felt like it? She _is_ a teenager after all."

"I wouldn't be so sure. I'm not sure she _has_ feelings."

"Don't be stupid. Of course she's got feelings. You should've felt the resentment she was radiating the other day."\

Ritsuko frowned. For a second she looked as if she was about to say something, but she appeared to think better of it. Rei was a teenager, after all, whatever Ritsuko liked to think about the girl.  
A glaringly obvious course of action occurred to her. Ritsuko had undoubtedly done it already, but she had to ask.

"Well, what did Rei have to say about it?"

"She said it was to keep him company. And I told you, I don't know."

"O-kay. No, I meant... what did she say about why she was asking?"

Ritsuko looked taken aback.

"You didn't ask her?"

"No."

Oh, come on. Really?

"It never occurred to you to ask?"

"No! Why would I?"

And this was the person who knew her... _second_-best?

"Well, let's ask her now then, shall we?"

Before Ritsuko could say anything further she keyed open the door, strode over and stood by Rei's bedside.

The girl continued to read. The door finally swung shut behind Ritsuko as she walked up to join Misato at Rei's bedside.

"How are you feeling, Rei?"

Misato beat her to it. She would be asking the questions for now, thank you.

"I am fine, Captain."

Misato took note of the bewildering array of pills on display atop the girl's bedside table. Ritsuko appeared content to let her take the lead.

"Why did you ask to be here, Rei?"

She kept a close watch on the girl as her eyes stopped sweeping the page for a few moments. She was about to repeat the question when the girl spoke, eyes remaining on her... (she gave the thing a proper look for the first time) technical manual, or whatever it was.

"To keep the second child company."

Misato frowned. She looked to Ritsuko from the corner of her eye, for confirmation. Yep. She'd heard it too.

"Rei, the second child is dead."

Rei paused again.

"I meant the third child."

Ritsuko gave a little shrug when looked-to.

"I see. Why do you want to keep the second... the _third_ child, Shinji, company?"

Rei paused again. It was a loaded question. Of course it was. But would the girl deny her wanting to be with him, for whatever reason?

Rei blinked. "I do not know."

Lying. Was she lying? Ritsuko's slight frown gave her nothing more to go on.

"What do you mean you don't know?" No, bad question. "Why don't you know?"

She appeared to give this more thought.

"I believe it is standard procedure in many regular units, as it fosters camaraderie and encourages unit cohesion."

What _had _she been reading? Ritsuko seemed to find her explanation plausible enough.

"All right. Thank you, Rei."

When she returned, Rei was still reading and Shinji, surprise surprise, was still lying there. It was getting dark already. She checked her watch before entering - she still had plenty of time.

She pulled the shutter down on the window and in one smooth motion opened the door stepped inside and closed and locked it behind her.

"How are you feeling, Rei?"

Rei met her gaze.

"This room is-"

"Bugged, I know."

Rei closed whatever it was she was reading, and gave Misato her full attention as she closed the distance to stand by the girl's bed.

"Ritsuko thinks you don't have feelings."

"You think her wrong."

It was not a question.

"Yes. She's a very smart woman, but it's like she's blind to some things."

"Like people."

Despite her interruption, Rei appeared to be waiting for her to continue.

"Yes, like people."

Again, Rei waited.

She'd been over this a few times. Many times, actually. She'd come this far.

"Have you been feeling... _different_ lately? Since the first Angel attacked?"

For the longest time, Rei's expression remained neutral. She began to wonder if the girl had understood.

A corner of the girl's mouth twitched and curled upward.

"That's a very good question, Major."

* * *

At this point I must thank Rose1948 for pointing out that I replaced this chapter with the wrong document when making some later-than-last-minute changes. I apologise if your expectant joy was in any way dampened by the sight of an early draft of the previous chapter.

That's about it from me, except to thank my dearest beta for her latest work and to express my delight with some of the insights you have shared! And to admit the nefarious cackling and lap-cat-stroking which has resulted from your puzzlement and horror.

At the plot-twists and shockingly overly-sophisticated language. Not the gross incompetence.


	4. Close, sometimes

After a while, the grin faded. Rei looked suitably serious, for once. Well, contemplative anyway.

"How is one supposed to tell these things? To me all the days are very much alike."

Rei was window-gazing now, Misato's raised brow going unseen.

"I suppose I have been thinking of things differently this past year or so, not that I would expect my monitors to notice. Even now, thanks to you, they will not notice."

Chin resting on her hand, Rei sighed. Like a normal teen-aged girl. The motion was somehow alien to her.

Or rather, come to think of it, it only _seemed_ to be. That Rei might ever exhibit even the slightest trace of normalcy had not occured to her.

"Getting back to your question, I can see how you might have arrived at it. That doesn't make it any less half-baked and apparently silly."

Rei hadn't finished; there was a 'but' to come.

"But," Misato prompted.

"But there is a logic to the question."

Seconds passed, and Misato frowned. "You still haven't answered me."

The visible corner of Rei's mouth twitched upwards again.

"To answer your question, no. I noticed no sudden changes in my mental state."

"And your emotional state?"

Again, the twitch.

"It is strange for you to ask. You are the first person to do so."

Not for the first time Misato's thoughts returned to the girl's supposed lack of a life story.

"Have you experienced any changes in your emotional state in the past couple of months?"

Rei shifted her palm-cheek arrangement to meet Misato's eyes as she responded, calmly but emphatically.

"Yes, of course. I was severely injured in combat. It is a life-changing experience, to realise one's mortality."

Mentally, Misato wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry or, better yet, kick herself in the mental-hypothetical balls. For all that she had privately vilified Ritsuko for not thinking of Rei as being really human, she had actually done much the same herself.

"Do you have any other questions, Major?"

Rei took note of Misato unclenching her fists. "Yes. Why do you keep calling me 'Major'?"

No twitch this time, but there was a certain lightening - a twinkle, dared she say - in the girl's eyes.

"Your dedication to your work is admirable, your efficiency commendable, and your skills sound. It is only a matter of time before, in this most public of combat theatres, you earn a promotion."

The thought hadn't escaped her, but anyone who knew her - barely a handful of people, in other words - knew, or could guess, that the lure of promotion wasn't what had brought her here. That said, a higher rank might make it easier for JSSDF forces to swallow her ordering them around and commandeering their assets, if nothing else.

"Thank you for your time, Rei. Get well soon."

"You are welcome, Major. You too."

She eyed the girl. "What?"

"Get well soon."

Did she just-?

"Don't look so astonished, please. Let us pretend that never happened."

But her failure was just so _cute_.

...not that she felt close enough to the girl to say as much. Some other day, maybe.

She waved the girl goodbye and left as swiftly as she had entered. But not before she had whirled around to stop by Shinji's bedside for a long moment.

He was getting thin. Well, thinner. Just look at his cheek... you could feel the hollow forming.

He stirred under her touch.

It was a long, hopeful moment.

Rei joined her.

"He gets close, sometimes. I'm sure of it. But wherever he's gone... I'm not sure he knows how to get back."

She stared at Rei.

Rei continued to hold her gentle, pitying gaze on Shinji's sickly pale form. Her own pallor and the deep crimson of her eyes detracted from what would otherwise have been a rather picturesque pose.

She'd missed something.

"Rei," she started. The girl didn't stop looking at him, but her eyes sharpened.

"Did Shinji contact you?"

"I have to ask." she added.

"No." she said after an appropriate interval. "My respone may have been tailored for Ritsuko's consumption, but it was not untrue."

Rei brought a hand up to gently... caress (!?) his cheek in a tender but not, Misato realised, age-inappropriate gesture. They were teens, after all. Misato noted that her own hand had been drawn back some time ago, probably when Rei had appeared -she didn't remember doing it.

"Beyond that, I confess that sentiment plays a role in my continued presence."

Misato was glad, proud even, that this latest statement didn't phase her. In fact, it was about time that she turned the tables on the girl...

"And what sentiment is that, Rei?"

Rei didn't reply. Her impassive expression offered no clue as to whether she was refusing to answer, or simply didn't know. Misato prompted her.

"Cute, isn't he?"

Broken and emaciated as he was.

A thoughtful moment later, Rei nodded.

Misato still managed a small grin of petty triumph. The girl's skin was far too pale for even that tiny measure of blood-flow to ever go unnoticed.

So, it was a real-life case of 'sleeping beauty'. With some slight differences. Shinji probably wouldn't be giving birth to Rei's children anytime soon, for instance. Pregnancy was a hell of a thing to wake up to at the best of times.

Before things got too personal she ruffled Shinji's hair and slipped out for real this time, waving goodbye to Rei as she did so.

Halfway out, she stopped herself again. A question remained.

Standing in front of Rei she took a breath and looked the girl in the eyes, asking:

"Why did Shinji jump?"

Rei's eyes drifted to one side for a moment before snapping back to hers.

"How do you know he jumped?"

Misato blinked, her brain taking a moment to spit out the details again.

"He... landed...too far from the building. He must have taken a run-up."

Rei blinked. Her features darkened. "Or he was thrown."

Misato blinked.

Rei didn't know their living and security arrangements, so it was a natural conclusion. That said, it was a silly one. The two of them had the building to themselves, Section Two aside...

Her eyes tightened around the edges.

Section Two were, if not incompetent, untrustworthy. Kaji had said as much, not that she hadn't already noticed it herself.

Her eyes narrowed.

This new, unpalatable explanation looked all too plausible. He had been so... well, she wasn't really sure, but he definitely hadn't been suicidal when he had rushed out.

Her eyes narrowed further.

_Kaji_... had he been trying to tell her something?

"Thank you, Rei."

For the final time, she left.

Misato realised as she started her car that Rei hadn't actually answered her. Not that a straight answer was Rei's style, of course. And not that she could have known anything either, of course; the girl had been in hospital the whole time.

As she drove, she couldn't help the feeling that she'd missed something. She just couldn't think _what_.

She'd tripled the pilots' security detail, which wasn't as impressive as it sounded as it brought them to a grand total of _nine_. Nine men, guarding their _only_ pilots. They'd moved them to another room and drawn the blinds... it was a Nerv hospital, but if her worst fears proved true...

Well, fingers crossed it would be enough. It was all she'd been able to do without drawing attention to herself.

That done she'd gone straight to the Commander, and to her surprise the man had agreed to stop what he was doing and hear her out, immediately.

And hear her out he did.

There was no evidence, she rounded off saying, but the price of action was nothing next to the potential cost of inaction. Even if it was just one man, if he could find a rifle and a place to fire from, then he could kill them both without ever being caught. And if it _wasn't_ just a lone gunman... well, either way she didn't need to spell out the implications.

What could be seen of his face behind his steepled hands and his glasses remained unmoved. Silence reigned as she waited for him to respond.

Shinji and Rei - well, just Rei really - were their only pilots right now; the new pilot wouldn't be arriving for another week. If something were to happen in that time...

He had to blink sometime. He probably had, already - no, he must have. Everyone blinks... it was just hard to see it in this lighting, and with those damned sunglasses...

He lowered his hands to the desk, where they remained clasped in front of him.

"I see." He said it precisely, calmly.

Without saying anything further, he soon dismissed her with a simple gesture to the door.

Two minutes later, she received a phonecall. It was someone from security; the Commander had assigned a squad of his most trusted personnel to transfer the pilots to a more secure location within the Geofront, where they would remain under guard for the forseeable future.

Call over, she breathed a sigh of relif.

A small sigh. The danger hadn't passed; in fact, she still didn't even know what it was.

...

Kaji.

She made for her office at a swift pace.

Apparently, Kaji had disappeared again.

The moment the girl, Shikinami, was in the ground he had just vanished. His file was still on the system, ergo he was still a Nerv employee - but his location and his role within the organisation were not listed, and that was just...

Well. Just look at the word security had used. Not _competent_, nor _best_.

_Trusted_.

Her eye flitted to the catch on the door. It was locked.

Which, if there was a clandestine faction operating in Nerv's midst, probably meant nothing.

She ignored the siren's call of her flask, and the indignant outcry from her in-tray. There was important work to be done.

She drummed her fingers on the desk-top.

So, a rogue nutter at best. An intra-organisational faction couldn't be ruled out - if there was one, there was no reason to suppose it stopped at section two. At worst, it could be an outside organisation pulling the strings - the national government, or foreign powers with their own shadowy agendas. Maybe both.

She continued drumming.

Okay, so maybe one or all of those was the case. But where to start? And who was supposed to be working on this kind of thing, anyway? Nerv didn't have a bloody _detective_ _office_.

...though Nerv did have MPs. They were, as they were everywhere, universally despised and very few in number.

They were also, if larger forces were at work, almost certainly not to be trusted. From his actions, it seemed that the Commander found the idea of a pilot-killing conspiracy plausible.

She laid her hands flat on the table.

So. Where did she begin?

She was still thinking it over when the phone rang. She picked it up, unthinkingly.

"Captain Katsuragi?"

It was the Sub-Commander.

"Yes, sir?"

"I advise you to move home. We have new accommodation prepared for you."

"Sir?"

"In light of recent events, we thought it a necessary precaution. You are excused from your duties, a squad will be over to assist you momentarily."

She didn't know what to say. Things were spiralling.

Except... a question leaped to mind. The only issue was the phrasing.

"Is this about the conspiracy, sir?"

There was a pause. The question wasn't a firing offence. Not that, if there really was some sort of plot in motion, they could afford to fire her right now.

"Yes. There is a risk that this will set things off, but I don't think it likely. This is only a precaution."

There was a knocking at her door. On a whim, she decided to push her luck.

"Was this your idea, sir?"

A pause.

"We agreed that you had best move, but let's just say that the personal touch was, yes. Good luck, Captain."

He hung up.

'The personal touch'...

i.e. her getting the chance to pack her own stuff.

Did Ikari not realise how rude he'd been, or did he just not care?

"One minute!" she called through the door. She heard a muffled "Yessum" from the other side.

She checked her sidearm and her ammunition. All in working order.

She took a deep breath, and unlocked the door.

* * *

Apologies for the delay - suffice to say summer school is proving rather difficult. The grammar is killing me, but it's all good fun. (Learn Mandarin! The characters are _way_ cool!)

'ahem'

So, yes. Effecting an self-importantly dignified manner, I assure you that the next chapter - next month's chapter - should be nice and beefy to compensate.

_...should._ No promises!

Thanks to EJ, and... well, you lot! You've made this 'writing' business quite fun, actually, you (insert affectionate diminuitive adjective e.g. 'little' here) rascals, you!

'patronising cheek-tug'


	5. Just in case

The driver called back to them.

"Hospital's in sight! Two minutes, max."

Misato checked her weapon first - magazine in, round chambered, sights set - good to go. Spare magazines - regular and armour-piercing- handy, webbing fastened. Vest fine, albeit far heavier than she remembered. Hair secured, couldn't have it flapping about. Side-arm snug in the thigh-holster, as was the knife.

Smoke and regular grenades right where they should be, pins in and everything.

She breathed deeply, calmly. Met the eyes of the man across from her. Flashed him a grim but genuine smile. They were the only ones not wearing red berets.

"Glad you could make it."

He smiled back. Tight around the edges, but sincere.

"Couldn't leave our favourite damsel to sort out her distress all by herself, could I? Ibuki would never forgive me."

She gave his knee a strictly professional squeeze, then leaned in closer - taking a hold of his shoulder to whisper in his ear.

"If this gets me killed, I want you to do me one last favour." She closely, dared he say _intimately_ examined his expression "Take care of Shinji for me. Rei too."

He had to look away for a moment.

_She really thinks...?_

When he met her eyes again, the intensity of her gaze nearly unnerved him.

"Alright," he said at last "but don't talk like that, please. You'll be saying 'goodbye' and 'see you in hell' and all that kind of thing next."

He knew he wasn't the funniest guy ever, but he liked to think he was passable in the humour department. Her reaction told him as much.

"Thanks, Mako. You're a mediocre lover."

She paused to watch him blush before whispering with a grin in her voice.

"But more importantly, a true friend. _Goodbye_."

All business and propriety again, she drew back and turned to nod to the red-bereted man beside her.

"Sergeant."

The grim-faced MP returned the gesture, complete with a thumb-and-forefinger beret-edge-pinch. "Captain."

"Thirty seconds!"

"Excuse me."

She got to her feet, hunched over in the dim light of the cramped compartment, and climbed over to where the driver was. Makoto followed, as best as he was able. It was _cramped_ in this thing. The smell of grease, diesel, cheap deodorant and cleanshaven thirty-something was all-pervasive, even here. It was surprisingly quiet, though; he could make out their exchange well enough.

"One sec..."

He finished executing the turn before using a hand - Makoto craned his neck around her to look - to briefly indicate a well-lit bay not more than, oh, twenty seconds away. "There?"

An ambulance entrance. Not a bay really, more like a drive-through. Exposed, but it'd have good access. It'd help them keep it quick.

"Yes, take us in."

"Yessum."

He clambered back over to his seat, with her close behind. He got his second good look at the squad and its sergeant as he moved to sit down or rather, squeeze back into his spot at the end of one bench.

There were seven of them including the driver, plus Misato and himself. All of them fit men in their thirties, skinny or medium builds. Apparently trustworthy and competent to a man, or so she said she'd be told.

So, good odds.

When, seconds later, they came to a hard stop threw the doors open shuffled along and jumped out, the only sounds were of boots on metal and safety catches being flicked off.

The hospital lights seemed very bright, almost harsh. The night air was cool and fresh.

They fanned out, securing the immediate area as the two non-combat personnel among them joined them on the ashpalt. The Sergeant gave a little bow to her- as agreed, she was taking the lead.

They shut the APC's rear doors behind them and trailed close behind her as she barged inside, brushing past the staff - nurses, orderlies, whatever - on duty, leaving a trio of squaddies behind to explain and taking the most direct route to The Children.

The hallways were bright and sterile and just a bit too warm, and the whole place reeked faintly of disinfectant. Thankfully they were true to the maps, so that was no trouble for the most part. It had only been a minute, and they were pretty close already.

They rounded another corner, and here they were at the end of the final, apparently empty corridor. The squad had already taken up positions - facing both ways - as she opened one door a fraction and yelled into the empty space beyond.

"Redeye!" The safe-word she said she'd given her people "It's me."

A couple doors opened and a pair of men in cheap suits stepped out, weapons lowered. The elder one - Sato, right? - gave her a quick bow and spoke as she threw the doors open and strode towards them.

"Captain. All's well."

_So far, so good..._

She slung her weapon over her shoulder as she stopped before the speaker. The action made Makoto very conscious of the weapon he was holding - and barely knew how to use. He quickly lowered it and engaged the safety.

"Sato. Can she walk?"

The voice from within the room was quiet, but firm. "Yes, ma'am."

She hesitated briefly before making for the door, the agent stepping back to let her pass. Feeling like something of a fourth wheel, he settled for standing in the doorway. Sato eyed him suspiciously as he tried to look honest and unflappable.

The floor-length curtains were drawn and the lights were on. There was a bed, and to both sides of it there was a whole host of machines of other junk she didn't really take stock of as she stopped before The Only Evangelion Pilots In The World.

Rei sat up in her new bed, her tabletop of drugs now in a little plastic bag resting at her side. Shinji was still asleep, of course. But he was cuddling up to her with his head nestled in her lap, and an arm wrapped about the girl's legs.

When she next spoke, he suspected that Misato had tried to pass her hope off as simple curiosity. "He was awake?"

It would seem that Rei had not been fooled either. "No. I told you it was no ordinary coma."

That said, her manner was contemplative.

Misato stood stock-still. He couldn't see her face from here...

She spoke. "Let's go."

As Rei swung her feet down to get off, Misato went around to the other side of the bed and scooped him up. He knew for a fact that the kid weighed at least twice as much as all the kit she was wearing right now.

All the same, she seemed to do it like it was no effort at all.

The agent stepped forward with hands raised as if to offer his assistance. She gave him a brief shake of her head, but stopped and accepted it after a second's pause. Makoto was just turning around to guard the door or something - she seemed to have all the help she needed - when he noticed someone standing _right behind him_. He managed not to jump as the man in scrubs spoke past him. An agent was in the hallway behind him.

"We've got a gurney handy. He'll need it if you're going to move him."

She lowered him back onto the bed, gently, before turning to face them. "And you are?"

"Nurse Ibarazaki."

She glanced to her choice Section-2 man _He_ glanced to the Ibarazaki guy for a moment. He couldn't help but noticing how the agent was now standing on the other side of the room from the doorway and the young man who had just appeared in it. Nor could he help noticing the way the man's weapon lowered as he met her gaze again, nodding. She only needed a second to decide.

"Where is it?"

"Just here."

He noted the way Sato's hands moved almost imperceptibly to somehow keep the weapon not-quite fixed on the man's legs as he went about prepping the bed-on-wheels he had just produced from somewhere. A minute later, they were good to go.

"Okay, now if you could help me..." she was ahead of him. He moved to help her lift the boy or rather, lower him onto his new and more portable bed.

_His get-away bed_, some part of him noted as the nurse fiddled with some tubes and things that had gotten tangled in the transfer.

Sato fired. Makoto blinked. Ibarazaki went down screaming, clutching at his legs.

She gave him, Makoto, an apologetic look. He continued to wince on the nurse's behalf as the man's screaming went on unabated.

"Come on, Rei."

Makoto moved to Sato's side to let her steer Rei very nearly out of the room, ensuring she gave the little scene a wide berth. Only at the doorway did she seem to realise which way the damned thing swung. "Rei, hold the door open for us please. Mako, a hand." She addressed Sato, over the screaming, as they got the gurney rolling.

"Don't blame yourself, better safe than sorry. Call the MPs on him for me."

"Yes ma'am."

_...she had him shot 'just in case'? Ye gods._

Together they wheeled him out and into the corridor. The doorway was _just _wide enough for them to fit through, one on each side, and the corridor _just_ wide enough for them to turn the thing around without need for careful manoeuvring. He placed his weapon on the gurney - it was kind of heavy, and he needed his hands free.

She turned back to call for Rei, but the girl was right behind her and helping her walk the gurney along. "Thanks, Rei."

"No, thank _you_, Captain."

"You're welcome."

She exchanged nods with the man when she reached the Sergeant at the end of the corridor. He gave some hand signals, and one by one the squad reformed around them. They didn't stay too close, moving up ahead to check each room and intersection. They were doing a _lot_ of moving around.

The smell of cheap deodorant and, more faintly, cleanshaven thirty-something was back in the air.

He managed to stop himself, just in time, from thinking that it was too quiet - that there were too few staff on duty, too few people milling around...

They were nearly there now. If they kept their guard up and nothing happened, this'd soon be all over in a good way... they got to the ambulance-bay entrance-way, meeting up with the trio there. He breathed a small, private sigh of relief.

No sooner had he done so, then one of the men covering their approach fired at them.

Or rather, he realised as they rushed the gurney off to one side and the squad took up positions, the man had fired _behind them_. It had just been the one, brief burst. He scooped his weapon up and disabled the safety, dropping to one knee and covering the nearest door.

This being a foyer, there were an awful lot of doors around.

"Come out with your hands up!"

It was the Sergeant. Who else could it be, with that kind of voice? It just screamed _sergeant_ with every gas-borne vibration of its being.

A pair of largely-steady hands appeared around a corner behind them. Steady hands, but the rest of him was visibly trembling. Scrubs, like all the staff. A surgeon? He watched her as she met the Sergeant's gaze. A nod later and the Sergeant was bellowing again.

"On the floor, hands and knees! Quickly now!" The be-scrubbed man quickly complied as they got the gurney moving again and they were out again, in the cool night air as the squad reformed at the Sergeant's newest flurry of hand signals, taking up position around the APC. Makoto helped her open the doors and she shoved Rei in first. "Vests up the front!"

As the girl obeyed, they both struggled to work the damned gurney. Weren't they supposed to fold or something? Or was that just stretchers? All of a sudden, he got it and the whole thing suddenly collapsed - thankfully they were just in time to stop him from hitting the ground too hard. They lifted it up and managed to get it on top of the bench on one side and in a ways before it stopped, refusing to be pushed in any further.

Misato climbed in the other door and, crouching down inside, helped guide the damned thing inside. It took another - _intensely_ - frustrating twenty seconds, but they managed to get the whole thing in. Four of them would have to stay behind, now, but Shinji was safe now and that was the important part. He flashed her a grin when she looked up from her watch, telling her-

* * *

It took an age, but they finally did it.

_Bloody hell. _

She checked her watch. They'd made good time, but they weren't safe just yet. Makoto looked pleased with himself as he said-

His face disappeared in a shower of red and grey and Misato fell back with the wind knocked out of her by something that felt like full-force kick to the guts.

"Drive! DRIVE!_"_

The Sergeant clambered inside yelling past her to the driver "And _swerve, _you ninny!"

He struggled to hold on as they took off. Misato blinked furiously to clear her vision and shaking off the smell - the strange smell old and familiar - as her eyes watered, picking a piece - a _blob_ - of something out of one eye as she clambered over to the back to shut the bloody doors, they were still open-

There was a cracking sound and something went on to twang and whine about the cabin as he let out a cry and collapsed and Misato stopped reaching for the door to grab him by his vest and half haul, half-tackle him into the vehicle and atop Shinji as the driver got a proper _swerve_ going. But the alley was narrow, _and the doors were still open. _

"Faster!" she screamed to the driver as she shifted about and braced herself or rather her vest so as to shield Shinji. Thankfully Rei was out of sight and thus up front and _thus_ out of harm's way. She felt something rip past her ear then ricochet around the inside of the cabin until it buried itself in the bed with a dull twang - no more than a hand's-width from Shinji's still-sleeping face. Then they made the biggest swerve of all - a full right angle, dared she hope...? Yes, that was it-

"_Stop!_ Stop!"

He slammed the brakes on with a squeal, the smell of burnt rubber filling her nostrils as she reached out to pull one surprisingly heavy door closed and latch it, then the other. She then started pulling the groaning Sergeant off Shinji, but thought better of it; his blood was all over the sheets. The shot might well have shattered his femur - that would explain the cracking sound. His leg was bleeding _badly_.

The driver was looking back to them. Rei, too. He was visibly un-calm.

"Shit... what do we do?"

She was already reaching for the medical kit but... shit, it'd been so long since she'd used one...

Decision made. She gave Shinji a once over - he was breathing, and didn't seem to be bleeding.

"Get back here and treat him, he's bleeding out." She sat on the spare bench and set her rifle down, taking his place once he'd scrambled over to attend to the sergeant. Rei was waiting for her, searching out her eyes as she dropped down behind the controls.

"Is he alright?"

Her movements slowed for a few seconds, but she didn't stop.

"Yes."

She got them moving again. She knew the way, she'd gone over the maps a dozen times... she waited for a straight stretch before asking.

"You alright, Rei?"

She met Rei's red, red eyes.

Expression unreadable, the girl nodded.

"Not bleeding or anything."

There was a tiny, almost imperceptible twinge at one corner of Rei's mouth as she shook her head.

_But the Sergeant..._

She used her spare hand to fiddle with the radio.

_And Makoto..._

She took deep, steady breaths.

Grease. Diesel._ Blood._

* * *

"I... I should've put up a smokescreen before we... this shouldn't have happened. _I'm sorry._"

"It's fine, It's fine... hah. I was supposed to be doing all the tactical stuff... it's _my _fault. Can't trust an officer, ay..."

He managed a grin, and got a wistful one in turn. "Just... learn from this, Katsuragi, but don't take it to heart. Don't..."

* * *

She wasn't afraid.

Gripping her weapon, she kept it levelled at the shadowy figure.

"That's new" it noted in a voice not unlike her own, but for its flatness. "Kind of."

She spoke between gritted teeth, keeping her weapon between her and... _it_.

"What."

She moved to one end of the carriage, her aim steady and unchanging.

She grabbed a pole to steady herself as they went over a badly put-together section of track. They seemed to be everywhere in Tokyo-3. You just couldn't beat pre-2I engineering for quality of construction.

Like, say, this pistol. The ammunition might have been made last week by gods-knew-who out of gods-knew-what - but the weapon itself was good, old, reliable.

"Like yourself bar the 'old'."

Eyes narrowed, she hissed.

"Who _are _you?"

The figure just smiled, emptily.

Something came between them and the sun, and in that moment of relative darkness she saw _herself_.

An adolescent... _herself_. Only, it couldn't be.

"You're not me. You can't be."

Denial.

"Why not?"

Toneless.

"You're talking. _I didn't_."

For years. Yes, true. But irrelevant.

"_What?_"

_It... it...?_

_"'You should've seen me when my-'"_

"Let us begin again more conventionally this time. You used Makoto."

_Yes_.

"No, I... I asked him for his help, and he-"

Obfuscation.

_!?_

"Did he know you asked for his life?"

"I had no way of knowing that would happen!"

"You knew it could."

Known truth.

"Why invite him?"

Perceived truth.

"I needed him! He's the only one I know I can trust!"

So quick to trust. Like with Shinji.

He bounced into view. "Thanks, Misato." He gave her a hug and she shrugged back, weapon still trained on her look-alike and her gaze went back to the girl as she spoke again with the same tone, always the same.

"Why did you trust him?"

"Who?"

He was gone.

_Yes, both of them. But why bother feeling _shame?

"_Enough._ _W__ho are you_?"

_Do you even know...?_

A child you barely knew, whom you barely liked. Related to, yes. Empathised with...?

_"'The law still applies.'"_

"_I said 'enough'!"_

_No,_

_"Being... you're- a. Being like me, appearing 'as me' doesn't make you right!"_

_Only, of course, _

"This isn't real. I don't have to listen to this."

- always do. How strangely calm of one who is always, _always_ thinking with their dick, so to speak. Do you even-

Without quite meaning to, she shot it in the face.

...

It's empty, dead eyes continued their now-directionless stare - _and_ _with a piercing intensity __gazed right through her, even now and_...

The window, the glass behind it... there was a hole at the centre of a web of cracks that spiraled out and out...

The wind whistled through the red- and grey-spattered hole and experimentally, she fired again. And again, and again-

-she was sitting, hands in her lap-

_Blood._

Misato blinked, slowly.

She sat, slouching, her hands resting in her lap.

Her eyes focused slowly. The lights were dim. Her back ached. She was exhausted. On the bed next to her, Shinji slept. He looked fine.

She drew the chair closer and placed her arms on the bed, then rested her head on her arms.

* * *

I must say that these reviews of yours are quite heartening to behold; those with more in-depth analysis - complete with professions of puzzlement and suchlike things - are a real joy to read.

Perhaps more importantly, they're informative. I _am_ still learning, after all.

As for your EpilepticTrees, well... it's not surprising to see the popularity of time-travel. I'm glad to see (from your reviews) that the murder/suicide(?) ambiguity worked out, especially given what's riding on (and around/about, so to speak) that dichotomy.


	6. Who can say?

Gradually, the warmth of the sunlight roused her.

For a brief moment she opened bleary, barely-focused eyes to find light and warmth strewn across the sheets. She was still in her seat, at his side. His back was to her...

Eyes closed again, she moaned and buried her head in her arms. She hadn't slept enough...

But she couldn't sleep anymore.

She continued to rest, though, feeling the tingling in her fingers fade and disappear. Eventually she opened her eyes again to take stock of Rei, whose bed was opposite his.

It was very bright. White walls, white ceiling, white sheets... Rei wasn't in her bed...?

She leapt to her feet, far too soon, and she leaned on the bed for support as she fought to open her eyes and keep them that way. That was when the blue caught her eye.

White walls, white ceiling... blue hair.

On the other side of the bed from her, Rei had snuggled up next to him. Snuggled up, and gotten under his arm. Under his arm, nuzzling his neck...

_N'awwww. _

Smiling, she let herself collapse back into her chair and flop face-first onto the bed.

Her waking feeling was a measure of disorientation, and impatience. She just had to know how much of what just happened _really had_, if that made sense... mundane dreams made things difficult, sometimes. But she _had _to know. She opened her eyes - too fast, too soon - to discover that yes, Rei was gone.

Keeping them open and standing up slowly she found that yes, Rei was (still) at his side. Sitting down to blink and pick sleep out of her eyes, she noticed an envelope on the sheets beside her. Blinking hard and fast, she managed to read it; it was for her. Opening it, she saw it was signed by Fuyutsuki.

_Stay where you are for now. We don't have the resources to protect all our more valuable assets for the time being, so we're keeping you hidden. Stay inside, keep quiet, keep your weapon about you. I'll come for you when we need you, so _stay put!

His instructions were clear, but far from reassuring. How short was short-handed, and how valuable were these other assets?

Were they on their own, for now?

She shifted her weapon in her lap, instinctively. Its weight and efficient, utilitarian feel was... reassuring as she gripped it with both hands. Standing straight up and ignoring the rush of blood to her head, she decided to give this place a quick sweep. Hopefully the old man had left her some stuff to work with...

Rei was sleeping with Shinji.

She turned to confirm it once more.

Even now it was adorable, but.. well. It raised questions. Questions like whether this was, technically and actually, sexual assault?

Well okay, maybe not _that_. But it wasn't necessarily okay.

But yeah, questions. Questions like whether it mattered, given the way the law ran down here - or not, as the case so often was. Rei being Rei, there was a good chance she'd known full well her chances of being slapped with a restraining order when she'd decided to do it - i.e. none, unless The Commander wanted her to be.

Of course, she could just be a girl who'd narrowly escaped death, again, and didn't want to sleep alone.

Not that that excused her, of course.

And not that Shinji would've have minded, probably?

Then again, whether or not he minded didn't matter. You couldn't give consent when you were asleep. Even if it was just - 'just' - for a snuggle.

Then again, it _was _just a snuggle. She may have needed it _badly_. And he never had to know.

... then again, he had a right to know. When he woke. And her having needed it didn't mean it hadn't been wrong.

_... _

She checked her weapon, which was loaded, and kept the safety on for now. She looked out the windows before -

_Hmm._

The floor-length 'windows' were, in fact, mirrors. Mirrors that made the room seem larger - as opposed to mirrors that made it seem smaller. But - she searched her vague memory to no avail - she thought there'd been sunlight...

Shrugging, she unlocked the door and checked the hallway beyond, one side and then the other. It seemed to match her fleeting impression of the place. At one end was a metal locker; at the other, the front door. She went straight to the latter. It was a solid metal hatch, like the one on the APC.

She put a hand to the cool metal. It was sealed shut from this side. From the outside, a vehicle-access tunnel in the depths of The Geofront, it was supposed to be indistinguishable from its surroundings.

She turned her back on the entryway and made for the first door on her left. Opening it with one hand, she made eye contact with someone coming through a door on the other side of the small room beyond.

She cursed herself twice in as many seconds. First, when her weapon remained down. Then, when she caught herself raising it even as she made out the mug clutched in the young woman's hands.

The woman - barely more than a girl, really - remained frozen. Misato's tone, and choice of words, were harsher than she really meant them to be.

"Who the hell are you?"

The girl/woman blinked, then gave her a confused, somewhat fragile smile.

"I'm Mister Ikari's nurse."

_Mister Ikari-?_

"Mister Ikari _Junior_. I am Miss Ayanami's nurse also."

That would explain the scrubs. The girl's smile assumed a polite, and _apologetic_, air.

She really was not a morning person. She hadn't slept enough either, and she couldn't remember when she'd last eaten...

"I... am Captain Katsuragi. I'm Shinji's guardian."

"Sato Tadayoshi. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Misato blinked as Nurse Sato put her mug down on the table and bowed her head.

"Isn't _Tadayoshi_-?"

She interrupted with a grin. "Yes."

Mentally, Misato filed the conversation-opener away.

"Is it just us?"

"Yes."

Acting as the girl did like she was a shout away from bursting into tears, Misato reckoned there was a fair amount of willpower keeping that tiny, boyish frame up in the face of what appeared to be exhaustion. The shadows under her eyes were _deep_.

"Have you been keeping watch?"

Her eye was drawn first to Sato's clothes as the girl opened her uniform jacket to reveal a shoulder holster, then to the mug on the table. She was willing to bet that the black liquid that nearly filled it was coffee.

"I'm good to take over. Get some rest?"

Her perpetual near-smile became genuine. "Thank you _so much_... I'll just, there's a room..." she trudged right past her, muttering "take my coffee if you like..."

And just like that, she was gone.

Misato let her weapon hang free as she went to pick up the coffee. Sipping it, she looked about the room. It was spartan; a sofa, a coffee table, and a bookshelf without any books.

The room beyond was a kitchen. It, too, had only the basics; a sink, an electric stove, and a microwave oven. The larder was well-stocked, but almost exclusively with tinned food and ration packs. There was some instant food; Sato had used one of the handful of two-minute ramen pots. She backtracked to the living room, taking a last sip before putting the mug down on the coffee table and re-entering the corridor. She headed straight for the locker at the end of it first - as she should have done in the first place, really.

It wasn't _full_ of weapons and combat gear, but... well.

She eyed the anti-tank rocket launcher for a long moment.

She helped herself to a few grenades, clipping them to the front of her vest.

She didn't even know the purpose of some of these things; they looked... specialised. Others looked utterly out of place; there was a plain black _bracelet_, for instance. She held it up to the light.

"It's for cutting restraints off your wrists."

She turned around to find Rei right behind her, her eyes on the not-bracelet.

"How are you feeling?"

Misato blinked. Then chided herself for her silence. It was a perfectly normal question.

"I'm fine. How are you?"

"I am well."

Rei sniffed.

"You still smell of blood."

Misato blinked.

She was right. It was fainter, now.

"Let's get you something to eat," she said hurriedly "you look even paler than normal."

She closed the locker, then hesitated for a moment.

_Rei.._.

It probably wouldn't make much difference, but...

No. It wouldn't make much difference. So why bother?

Then again, why bother taking the grenades? It wouldn't make much difference if it came to that either, would it?

She opened the locker again and fished around for a bit.

Not more than thirty seconds later, she turned to Rei and dropped about five kilos of kevlar onto her shoulders. She then handed her a pile of about ten kilos of clay, though it felt like more. Fifteen, maybe. She placed a mass of felt, plastic, steel, and lead atop the pile in the girl's arms. And, as an afterthought, she plonked another couple of kilos of kevlar onto the girl's head.

Closing the locker behind her, she moved past the loaded-down girl and led her to the kitchen. She could only assume that they were welcome to all this stuff. She hadn't been told otherwise, which was the important thing.

Rummaging through the larder again, she figured that they had maybe a dozen different canned meals to choose from. Which was a pretty generous selection, really. She pulled one of each out and placed them all on the bench, to save her having to read them all out to the girl. The helmet was on the bench, she noted. As she placed the last one down she turned to face Rei, who finished up one last strap as she watched.

Rei, hands at her sides, glanced down to her chest.

"It's a bit big."

Misato made a grin of her feelings. "One size fits all."

She stepped forward to grasp the body armour by the shoulder straps and pull up. She tutted.

"Turn around."

She adjusted the relevant straps and gave the whole thing a series of experimental tugs, making adjustments as necessary. The ceramic plate-inserts were all in their proper places already. She stood back and gave Rei's shoulders a little squeeze.

"Right, we're in business." She continued, patting Rei's side-arm in its chest-holster "Just keep this on you and _this_" she paused to pat the helmet for emphasis "near you at all times, and you'll be fine. Now," she gestured to their potential breakfasts with a flourish "what do you want to eat, Miss Ayanami?"

* * *

"Please leave us now, Miss Sato."

The nurse bowed and exited swiftly, closing the door behind her.

"Please be seated, Captain."

She sat down on the sofa and moved the remains of their - her and Rei's - breakfast to one side. Displaying a high degree of flexibility for his age, Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki sat down where he stood. Cross-legged, he laid his folder on the coffee table in front of them.

"Basically, it was inevitable that Nerv would be compromised. The foreign agencies aren't a real problem but even our branch, with an entire prefecture to ourselves, couldn't have stopped the domestic powers that be from getting to our employees."

He massaged his eyebrows with a hand as he continued.

"Until now I was confident that we had managed to keep them from becoming a problem. Now, things are unclear. I had assumed that, whatever their motives, they would never be so foolish as to go after _The Children_."

He let the hand fall, meeting her gaze again.

"Our counter-intelligence efforts made sure that the nature bond between the pilots and their machines was abundantly clear. That was why security was so light, for the most part; there was no way we'd have let him stay topside, let alone go to school, if we thought for a moment that someone might try to take a shot at him."

He exhaled a silent sigh.

"Yet, here we are."

The silence lasted a small eternity.

"No leads?"

"None."

This one, too, lasted a long while.

"There's just one thing I don't get, sir. _Why_?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Why wish for the destruction of humanity?"

After a pause, she spoke in a tone that betrayed nothing of the vengeance that consumed her thoughts.

"Yes. Why?"

Fuyutsuki smiled, thinly.

"Who can say?"

She could see the gears of his mind quietly tick over as he seemed to consider whether or not to go on.

"There is _one_ group," he said at last, "which may be responsible."

He hesitated again. When he spoke, he did so in tones no more low or hushed than before. Looking back on his words, she would come to think that it would have been an appropriate touch.

"The _Seele_ conspiracy is perhaps the least known of the groups that have infiltrated our ranks. They've displayed little interest in the physical workings of the Evangelions, which is unusual in itself, but they've also paid an unusual amount of attention to the individual pilots. _Why_, we don't know. Their group is at once one of the smallest, but perhaps the best placed. Suffice it to say that our lack of knowledge concerning them and their motives allows us greater room for speculation."

He stood up in a single, fluid movement, and Misato was quick to follow suit.

"When we have the people to spare, we'll see about getting you moved somewhere a bit more liveable. This is all very well for now, but we can't keep you here forever." He offered his hand to her, and she took it.

"Keep up the good work, Captain."

With that, he left.

She turned to the folder he had left her. Opening it, the topmost files were innocuous enough, but...

"Captain."

She didn't need to look up. But she did anyway.

"You don't have to wear that thing all the time, you know." She slid the papers back into the folder, closing it and standing up to stretch. The helmet really was too big for the girl. She stepped out from behind the table, putting herself between Rei and the files.

"They haven't found them yet, have they."

It wasn't a question. Misato didn't need to ask what she meant.

"You shouldn't have done that."

Rei grinned. "I didn't."

"What?"

_Oh. _

She let her displeasure show. She had to stop doing that - giving things away, that is. Never mind that, _they_ had to stop doing this to her. First Shinji, and now Rei.

_Kids these days..._

_('Kids'. I'm getting old...)_

"Look, Rei..." she motioned to the sofa "sit down, please."

Rei seated herself as asked, and Misato sat down on the floor across from her.

"I don't know how I should say this, so I'm just gonna say it straight out. You really shouldn't sleep with Shinji."

Rei's visage took on a grim air.

"What gave me away."

Misato kept her own expression serious in the face of the question's... oddness. She realised only as she started speaking that Rei had been about to say something.

"I saw you sleeping with him."

If she had to make a guess, Misato would've said that Rei looked quietly displeased. Annoyed, even. Misato continued once the pause began to verge on awkwardness.

"Leaving aside the moral issue for the moment, I guess you could say it's just not a good idea. Miss Sato needs to keep an eye on him and she may need to do things for him which she can't do if you're in the way."

Rei seemed to give her words due consideration before replying.

"I'm not going to be in her way all day."

Rei kept her eyes on the table. On the folder, rather, off to one side of them.

"Even so, it's not... healthy."

"I can't sleep." she mumbled "I can't sleep alone anymore."

She didn't need to ask why. She'd tried to shield Rei from the... the more visceral elements of last night, but there was only so much she could do.

She could only speak from experience. Hell, this could be the first time they - _her experiences_ - did anyone some good. Any good.

"It'll pass. You're stronger than you think you are, even if it's just _thinking _that you're strong that makes you so."

Rei met her eyes, but she could see that the girl just wasn't feeling it. Hopefully it was just a poor choice of words.

"Trust me, it'll pass. It's best not to depend on others. Not like that."

Rei broke the contact, and grinned. "Are you _sure_ you're the right person to be giving me this kind of advice?"

From her tone it was clear she didn't mean it... well, _meanly_. Misato grinned a little herself. "Maybe not. But it's worked for me. And Shinji's... well, he's not... _here_ right now. If you need someone right now, you could at least pick someone who you can talk to." She thought of Pen-Pen for some reason.

She coughed.

"Someone that can talk back."

"What, like you?"

"Yeah, I guess- _what's so funny?_"

Misato watched, unamused and perplexed, as Rei appeared to wrestle with a muted case of the giggles.

The door slid open, and Rei ceased abruptly. More confused still, she turned to look-

-not _quite_ into the barrel of a gun.

Wisely, Sato had kept her distance from them.

The room was dead silent. Misato thought back on Fuyutsuki's plain-spoken words.

"_Seele?_" she growled.

Sato nearly smiled, or _leered_.

Expressionless again after that split-second, she shrugged. "I'd _like_ to tell you, but this place is probably bugged."

Her expression didn't change, but her voice took on a note of finality. "I'm afraid this-"

She cut off abruptly.

There was a soft _plip_ from the carpet. Misato's eye was drawn to the spot as it grew, tracing the drops back up to Sato's hand.

As she watched, _her hand_-

-Misato felt sick-

- her eyes flashed to Sato's wide and panicked ones, and for a sickening moment she shared in the girl's terror.

And then her face flowed - no, _melted away _like so much... jelly, or water, she didn't know what...

Her scrubs, and the pistol, hit the carpet with a wet _slap_.

As she watched the - yellow? orange? - liquid washed outward, reaching her boots.

It reeked of blood.

* * *

I'd just like it to be known that the idea of (cheap) amusement at your expense does not influence my writing.

...much.

You have my apologies for the lesser quality of this chapter's purple prose. I'm sure it'll get more purple with time as I endlessly edit it into fancy fantabulousness. Hell, it'll probably be up to normal levels by the day after tomorrow.

Good luck with life! And thanks again for your support, however inexplicably-non-vocal.


	7. The Hell?

The liquid sloshed about and around her boots, the pool spreading out across the room. She stared at Sato's crumpled scrubs. She hadn't noticed it before, but right then t_he smell _hit her abruptly.

_Blood._

She vomited.

But she didn't have the luxury of wallowing in her nausea. She wiped her wet hand on her pants, wiping her mouth with a sleeve as she furiously blinked the water from her eyes. She noticed motion, and the soft splashes. Rei was heading for the door.

Misato lunged out and caught her wrist - having used her still-a-bit-damp hand, she noticed. She put another hand on Rei's shoulder and used the leverage to pull herself to her feet.

Rei met Misato's _I can't believe you almost did that_ look with a mostly-blank one of her own. "Shinji" she said.

She found her gaze intensifying a few notches as she gave the girl's expression a pointed study. Looking hard, she thought that maybe she could read concern in her blood-red eyes.

Wordlessly, she moved Rei aside and brought her weapon up, flicking the safety off. With one eye on the (closed) door she leaned and over pulled out the girl's sidearm. It was already loaded, with a round chambered - assuming Rei hadn't touched it since breakfast. She placed it in Rei's waiting hands and spoke in a murmur-

She paused. Before they did anything, she had to know. Rei didn't look the slightest bit phased...

"What _was _that?"

A leading question, of course.

"Her AT-field was... negated."

"What?"

"I used my angelic powers to cancel out the passive mental barrier that gave her soul shape."

She looked serious. Misato humoured her. "You turned her into..." she glanced to the puddle they were still standing in "_that_, with your mind."

"Yes."

...Rei was _good_ at deadpan.

"Can you do it again?"

"Yes."

"To multiple people."

She could've sworn that Rei's eye twitched a fraction.

"Yeah..."

"Quicker, this time?"

Rei frowned, and Misato followed suit.

"Maybe."

"Do you need to look at them?"

"..."

Rei looked away.

"How far away do you need to be?"

"..."

Misato hissed her words with all the intensity of one pissed off - at someone who has wasted valuable time - but not able to show it.

"Did you actually do that?"

Rei bit her lip.

"No."

One eye still on the door, Misato glared her down.

"That wasn't you."

"No."

Rei looked... she didn't know what_._

"Then why the _hell _did you say it was?"

Rei looked _shifty_. It was something about the way her eyes didn't meet Misato's. Rei was never normally one to shrink from eye contact.

"Sorry."

_Not funny_. Misato tried to glare the girl down, but she just didn't have enough force of malice in her. She felt drained, even.

"Okay. So _what just happened_?"

She gave the puddle a pointed glance.

Rei grimaced. Her manner seemed kinda apologetic. "I don't know."

Eyes on the door, Misato sighed. No deus ex machina.

"We're going to burst through that door. I'll take the front door, you take the locker. Shoot on sight. Then, we get out of here. 'Kay?"

"What about Shinji?"

Shit. She hadn't _forgotten _him, but... he was almost certainly dead already.

Misato felt a twinge of..._guilt?_ Rei probably knew his chances just as well as she did, and yet the girl hadn't written him off. She shouldn't have ruled out his survival, however unlikely.

"If there's anyone out there, we have to kill them first. Okay, Rei?"

They might have to choose between checking on him, and getting out of here. Rei probably knew that. She nodded, her expression unreadable. Misato gave her a grin.

"On three then."

They gently splished over to the door, Misato's hand on its handle in a flash. "One. Two. Three-"

-they were through-

The corridor was empty, the hatch open. Empty bar the stench of blood, the handful of piles of orange fabric and gun-black metal, and the thin pool of amber liquid covering the floor.

...the_ hell?_

More of the same. There was no time to be incredulous. "Come, watch my back."

She stalked along the corridor, past the neat little half-dozen piles of sodden clothes and towards the entrance. The liquid trickled past her boots, cascading over the threshold in a little orange-yellow waterfall to join the pool below as it fanned out in the dim light of the access tunnel.

Waiting outside, its doors open, was a NERV lorry. Its two-person cab was empty. The sporadically- and poorly-lit tunnel stretched away into the distance to either side of it. She turned to Rei, whom she discovered was _right_ behind her.

"Stay here, out of sight. Give me a shout if anyone's coming."

Rei nodded.

She strode past her down the corridor, heading straight for Shinji's room. If anyone was listening, they'd have heard her already. Weapon trained on the door, she unhooked a soft-drink-can-sized cylinder from her vest and lifted it to her mouth, using her bared canines to pull out the ring-pin. She took a deep breath.

Releasing her weapon to let it hang on its sling, she opened the door just wide enough to toss the cylinder in and slam it shut again. She backed up a couple of steps and made to grab her weapon but thought better of it at the last second and put her fingers in her ears.

Even through the door the sound was deafening. She wasted no time in bring her weapon up, opening door a fraction and kicking it open. She remembered to face her body -and the thickest part of her vest - _forward_ against her 'better' instincts as she scanned the visible half of the room before turning about and sidestepping in to check the other.

It was just him, on the bed. She let the weapon drop, fumbling for a moment to put the safety on as she dashed to his side. He looked just as she'd left him; peaceful, if a little... _not there_, on a level she couldn't quite express. The chair was she'd slept the night on, at his side, was still there.

...just as she'd left him, of course, except for the little dab of red. The relief she suddenly felt idiotic to have indulged in was swept away as the smell - the _same_ smell as the whole damned 'safe'-house, now. She snatched the sheets back, needing to take three handfuls of it after shaking hands let her down. She was very still for a moment as she watched a little more blood dribble out of the wound.

_He's still alive_.

That Sato bitch had missed his heart, not even by, what, an inch. But his lungs... fucking hell. She tore open the medicine-case - it wasn't much, but there had to be... _come on_...

She found the gauze after what felt like an age, and after a moment's hesitation cut a strip off and pressed it to the entry wound, slapping a plaster over it . She hesitated, again. The _exit _wound...

The sheets were clean, all she had to do was not move them. But _how_? And they didn't form a proper seal, not like the gauze did. But she wasn't sure she could even put the stuff on properly - she cursed her idiocy. She could just cuts strips and layer them on, using multiple plasters.

But moving him would be _bad_. He'd already lost a lot of blood. Not that any of it mattered if his lungs...

But the sheets weren't forming a proper seal, as testified by the blankets beneath him. She could've sworn that the sickeningly sweet(!?)-smelling wet patch grew as she watched.

_Fuck it_.

She turned him over and peeled the soaked, blood-encrusted sheet from his back, and she saw the wound. Gods' truth, it was bad. And she should've cut the gauze first.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid_.

She worked as quickly as she could, even as the blood pooled and spilled over in a few tiny, slow-moving little rivulets. Which was good, in a way, because it meant that not _all _of it was going to his lungs. Maybe.

_Hopefully_.

The first strips were wet right through, but she kept layering them on - doubling them back over themselves to save time - until she thought she had enough, with only a few inches left to go of the gauze-roll, and started with the patches.

Work done, she cursed herself again. She should've applied an antiseptic or something. _Gods_, could she do nothing right today?

She took stock of the situation. His gurney, from last night, was propped up against one wall. There was a lorry outside. If they could just get him outside...

What then?

She chewed her lip for a moment, and her gaze was drawn to him again.

It didn't matter _what_. She had to get him to a surgeon, _doctors, _quick. A whole, proper, A&E if she could.

She stormed out into the corridor "_Rei! _Get here now!"

She moved to unfold the gurney, a task more difficult than it looked. She was still puzzling it out when Rei appeared. She saw her take in the sight of Shinji, his back, and the sheets before she moved to help without a word. They got the gurney unfolded and moved him onto it, Misato trying to find some high-grade painkillers but the names meant nothing to her - _a nurse would be real handy about now, huh_ - and suppressed a strong, uncharacteristic giggle as she up scooped up an entire armful of little tubs and jars and dumped it between his legs, and off they went. They'd only just negotiated the doorway when Misato hesitated again, looking to the cabinet at the end of the hall. She turned to Rei.

"Move, get him in there. And get him something for the pain!" she jerked her head in the direction of the lorry as she spoke, turning then to dash for the locker. Rei wouldn't risk harming him by giving him something she didn't know would help. And, she thought as she rifled through the locker, Ikari was just the kind of person to have at least _one _in his personal stash...

She stopped, and grinned.

_Paranoid bastard_.

She emerged at pace to find Rei throwing the last of the pills in after him, carefully placing a pair of plain, metre-long metal cylinders beside him.

"Get in."

"_Misato._"

She'd turned to leave, but she turned around to stare at Rei. Then followed her gaze to the oncoming headlights in the near-distance, headed their way.

_"Get in_."

She didn't bother to tell Rei to swing the half-door up and shut, or to buckle up. She just ran for the cab, climbed in the open door, slammed it shut and reached for the keys as she sat down and readied a foot to floor the accelerator...

But they weren't there. She looked over to the clothes littering the tarmac and the hallway of the safehouse. The seat, too, was wet through. She was sitting on someone's sodden clothes, in fact. The cabin stank of blood, in fact. She felt like laughing for some reason as watched a drop of the blood-stuff slide off the wheel and fall into her lap.

The headlights flashed in the rear-view mirror.

She pulled the latch and kicked the door open, sprinting to the back of the vehicle as fast as the armour would allow. She grabbed onto something that jutted out to help her make the corner and had to jump up to get an arm over the half-door and fumble around in the back... one of her flailing feet came to rest on something and she used it to push herself up and - with a grimace at an inquisitive Rei - get a look inside as she heard the screeching of brakes...

She dropped down and took a couple of measured steps off to the side of the lorry, suddenly feeling all the exertion of the past minute. She was _not_ used to carrying so much crap around, at this kind of pace. She took a deep breath and levelled the tube at the oncoming lorry. Then took another couple of steps away from the lorry and - keeping the tube levelled - held out one hand.

_- Stop_.

They did, not even twenty paces away.

"_Get out!_"

They did, quickly. There were just a couple of them in the cab. She recognised the driver - it was the janitor. _Her_ janitor. He cleaned her office every Tuesday between 2 and 3 p.m, whether she liked it or not.

"Weapons down! Slowly!"

They had a pistol each.

"Over there, now."

They moved out into the middle of the tunnel, as indicated. The former-driver's name was Tanaka. Nice guy. He was from up north somewhere, she'd asked once but she couldn't really remember where. In his hurry to obey, he'd left the engine idling.

"_Rei!"_

"_Misato?_"

"Get him out, bring him over here. _You!_" she glared at Tanaka "Help her."

She didn't need to tell Rei to get his help at gunpoint. The girl was a natural. Or at least, she had common sense.

..._when it comes to hostage situations_.

...she was still pointing a rocket launcher at a man.

_Wait a minute_.

"Hold it!"

Out of the corner of her eye she could see Rei stop work, keeping her 'helper' in her sights. She just needed a minute to think, that's all, even if all she could think of right now...

_Shinji_...

Someone had to have the keys. Why the driver of _her_ lorry didn't have-

_Shit_.

Maybe he had the keys _on_ him when he... yeah. But Tanaka's lorry, she was missing something there as well...

Out of nowhere, a thought struck.

_Was it just them?_ _  
_

She felt a chill. And that's when she spotted the second set of headlights, not more than a couple hundred yards away and approaching fast. Something _clicked_, and it all became clear.

"Rei! Get down!"

Without checking to see if she'd complied she moved a foot back to brace herself, twisted to line the tube up with the cabin of Tanaka's Lorry, and fired and dropped the suddenly-feather-light tube to curl up into a little ball on the ground with her back to the blast...

It was smaller than she'd expected, thank the gods. She hadn't managed to get her fingers in her ears, but it hadn't rendered her _totally _deaf. She fumbled with her weapon, bringing it up and to bear on Tanaka - she could barely hear herself yelling _something_, she wasn't sure what, but he ignored her or maybe he just couldn't hear as he ran for his dropped weapon -

Moving on automatic, she targeted his centre of mass and fired. She saw him fall, and dimly heard him cry out but she was already moving for the cab - she was struck by a sudden thought and turned to aim at the oncoming headlights but realised belatedly that she couldn't really see, and she had no idea if they were friend or foe...

_No more than with Tanaka_.

She hadn't, after all, asked him whose side he was on. It hadn't occurred to her, until now, that maybe he was there to help. Not that it seemed likely. Ikari had better people and better stuff (than that), even if it was spread thin...

_...right?_

She found herself rummaging through the clothing sprawled across the seat, eyes darting to the brightening lights in the rear-view mirror and back again... _come on_, it _had to _he here somewhere...

_The floor_.

She tried to duck down beneath the wheel but it was too cramped, she had to kick the door open and get out before she could check -

_There!_

She grabbed them and lunged forward to jam - _shit_, she didn't know which one- she fumbled with the keys as she sat down and finally found a likely-looking one and tried to fit it - it slipped -

It slid in and she turned the key in the ignition. The engine hummed rather than roared to life, but it was quick to oblige in getting them the hell out of there when she floored the accelerator with one eye on the mirror.

* * *

I didn't quite mean for this to be a chapter of non-stop action told in nigh-excruciating detail but, well. I suppose it leaves room for a more sedentary/intrigue-filled/(faux-)expository chapter next time, on the plus side.

I'm afraid that no apologies will be forthcoming with regards to the schedule and quality-slips, but I do hope this shall mark a return to reasonably regular writing on my part - being a pure consumer is great and all, what with (the quality and quantity of) some of the stuff that's out there, but it's nice to actually produce something from time-to-time (even if it is just trashy fanfiction! [can't wait for the Evangelion 3.0 sub release! Or the dub, for that matter.])

On a final note of shameless self-promotion and aggrandisement, I'd like to point out that I've written my first (teen!) Romance fanfiction! It's Evangelion of course, and it comes with a twist... 'Late!', I think it's called. It should be on my profile somewhere.

Oh and, a Happy Chinese New Year (10th of February this year) to you in advance! (Xin1-nian3-kuai4-le4-la!)


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